I want you to know how proud of you I am. No matter what hurt, pain and suffering you have been through, You never gave up! You may have slowed down a little but you never gave up. I am sending this letter to remind you, that you are doing Great and everything is working out perfectly.
You have been battling with feelings of low self-esteem, shame, guilt, anger and even self-hatred most of your life. Feelings of rejection and abandonment. Life has been challenging. Yet, you never gave up!
You have always had a gentleness about you, and you always cared about how other people were feeling and wanted to make it better. Because of your soft nature though, you met up with those that took advantage of that goodness, over and over again. You got caught up in the negative emotions and began to behave back, in like manner. I knew you didn’t want to behave in this way but this was the beginning of self awareness for you in years to come. I know you began to feel bitterness towards everything. Towards people, towards your life and worst of all, towards yourself. Well I am here to tell you, you are right on track and everything works out great!
Up Goes the Wall.
Even though that negative behaviour, went against your own inner being, you became tired of being hurt, so you built yourself a nice solid wall around your heart. It was all you knew to do as a child, to not feel hurt anymore. It wasn’t an instant wall, it was an overtime wall, a brick here, a brick there, a brick everywhere.
Before you realised it, you had built yourself a dungeon! You were also the prisoner, in chains, of this dungeon! And as you learn later in life, You are responsible for putting you there. You were a prisoner of your own choice. Of course, you did not realise that at the time. But you did get there eventually.
Frightened to step out of your mental prison, for fear of being hurt, however, there were times when you had to be among people. When you did have to associate with others, you created a mask for every occasion. You hid yourself so well under these masks that you started to forget who you were!
Sometimes it would go well to be among people and sometimes it did not but as long as you had your mask on, you believed everything will be okay or at least you could pretend it to be.
Emotions on Lock Down!
You imprisoned your emotions by now, and wouldn’t let yourself feel. The very essence of who you truly are, had been locked down. You had now mastered the very opposite of your truth! ( which is a triumph on its own) because you are amazing!
It is okay, your story gets better lol as you are now becoming aware of 🙂
The first step of freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness of those that had hurt you, but most importantly, the forgiveness of yourself. I know you struggled with this for many years and believed you deserved to be punished. And you did exactly that. You punished and blamed yourself for everything that had happened.
How happy I was when that desire of being free started to kick in. You started to do some research into whether it was possible to get yourself out of the prison you had built. People started to give you new information, that intrigued you. Books started coming your way, that were exactly what you needed. (Just so you know, I had a hand in that 🙂 )
You had finally allowed a light to shine in a cold dark place of unworthiness.
I felt now was a good time to receive a letter from future Me 😉
The Journey to Freedom Begins.
You always loved reading and learning so I knew this would be your strength to uncovering. And you gobbled up everything that came your way. Well done!
The bricks starting coming down and your appreciation started going up. This was exciting to watch. You felt happy. You now had a hunger for learning more about true self. At least a truth that resonated with your heart and soul.
It was a delicious meal of enlightenment. The best meal ever created. Bricks were coming down in numbers. You, joyfully teared them away. Then you started to question yourself… How could I have done this to myself? Why did I shut that beautiful inner voice down, when all it spoke of was love? You did go through a little resistance here, but it wasn’t for too long. You worked it out that the answer didn’t really matter anymore. The relief of not feeling so trapped was so liberating.
Now and again you would get scared and put some bricks back lol but you would find the courage and let it go. You always do 🙂 There was no turning back now. You knew enough to make some very well-informed decisions. And you did just that.
Admired From a Distance.
I have seen you in your most saddest moments, your most confused and I have seen you rise up with renewed strength and vigor. I have and still do admire your persistence and tenacity to discover the beauty that lies within you. Which you now know is also in each and every person.
I have seen you take responsibility for your own life by taking charge of your own thoughts. You had some pretty messed up beliefs lol That’s because you borrowed them and made them your own. Each belief is a brick and as you start to shine some light on it, you place them in the right space. O f course there are only two choices, keep them or let them go.
I have witnessed your caring spirit and how happy it makes you feel. Sometimes you get a little off balance lol but I know you will find your feet. 🙂 I know you will work it out.
Own Inner Dance.
I have noticed recently that you are following your own inner dance. You are now finding your rhythm, your own pace. Every brick down is a sigh of relief to be yourself. Challenges don’t frighten you as much. When you get yourself into a good feeling place, you make a decision and then you go for it. You do get better at this and a lot quicker…just saying 🙂
You understand now that the only one you are fighting with is yourself. Some of your masks you are still holding onto. That’s not a problem though because I know you will give those up too, when you are ready 🙂
I know you still have confusion over certain things. Don’t worry about it. Clarity will come. A solution will show up when you are ready to see it. By the way, it isn’t as far as you think. (wink wink)
You are trusting in your own inner voice more and more. It is the most beautiful sight to witness.
The greatest part of growing through all your challenges in life is, you are well-equipped to Be Just You! You don’t have to be anything more than yourself. That’s it. Just Doing Your Do 🙂 There is no better gift to yourself and others than Being True to Yourself! I know, you are now, understanding this.
Situations and events will arise where you will topple over. Don’t stress. You will get back up, you will learn from it and you will continue your path with joy. That’s how you roll 🙂
Word of Warning.
A word of warning… Stay off other peoples paths. Just as you are learning what is best for you, they too are learning what works or doesn’t work for them. Stay your path. Share what works for you. Leave it for them to decide if its for them. Do not judge another’s path, for that is none of your business. Love them while they discover their most Beautiful Self.
One size does not fit all! But… One love for all, fits perfectly!
I want you to remember these words always:
There is nothing wrong with you. You have adopted beliefs that have been stagnant in the air. They are not yours! They really don’t belong to anyone.
In saying that, everything you have been through had a purpose. It has awoken you to the beautiful authentic self. It made you stronger and wanting to know more. This makes life more interesting and exciting. Enjoy the adventure. Have fun. Play more, laugh more, dream more and love more.
Do not get tangled in labels and categorising. People are magnificent beings on a journey of self discovery. You were born a unique being and you need to live that uniqueness. Your uniqueness is what makes this journey an amazing experience. Add every one else’s uniqueness in the mix and you have yourself, The Most Beautiful work of Art.
Live your passion. Love from your heart. Live the Best of You!
Enjoy the journey of rediscovering You. Allow goodness to flow into your life from wherever it may come. Don’t pay attention to old beliefs and old thought patterns. Just rewrite them to your choosing. Appreciate every moment. Trust in Self totally. Love unconditionally. Expand in the Wonder of You.
Everything is as it needs to be. Besides, I am your future, and your future looks sooo gooood 🙂
Loving you always xxxx